I firmly believe that this is a topic that needs to be discussed. Many of us are walking around lacking ownership of where we are today.
Lack of ownership has been hindering us from reaching our potential in all areas of life.
Like what Gary Vaynerchuck says, “It’s your fault.”
Think about that for a second.
If you said that EVERYTHING that has happened in your life up to this point is your fault, you would feel empowered.
Everything that you think, do, and say are going to be much more intentional. Especially since you know that whatever happens next will ultimately be your own doing.
The good news? Anything positive or negative is your “fault.”
Let’s say you went to the salon and you wanted a new hair color. You told the stylist EXACTLY what you wanted and they happily obliged. 2 hours later, your hair is blue and not green like you asked them.
What happens next is that you start yelling at them and getting angry because they messed up your hair.
Because external things that go on around you can affect you positively or negatively, you can’t just pick and choose what you like and what you don’t like.
If you take ownership of that situation. It would be empowering to know that they did their best and it is your fault that you did not do what you needed to do to get what you wanted.
Of course, the stylist should also take ownership for not being present or more mindful with what color he or she put on your hair.
The point is when something negative happens to you and you blame others for your frustrations, you don’t empower yourself to change it within you.
Why do you think many people have a repetitive cycle with all of your boyfriends or girlfriends? If the same thing keeps happening, it is not because God wanted to play a sick game with you. It is because you have not taken ownership as to why this keeps happening in your life.
Powerful to know isn’t it? What can you do to take ownership now?
If you are in debt, the best thing you can do is understand that it is your fault. It is your fault for not learning about finances from successful people, you put yourself in that position. BUT, you can also get yourself out.
If you are being the best partner to your spouse, and yet he or she cheats on you, take ownership of how you show up to them. I am not saying that cheating is right or it is valid in this situation whatsoever, I am simply saying that there are many people out there who move to the next person and yet they still get cheated on regardless how “loyal” or faithful” they are to their spouse.
Ask yourself, “Where did I go wrong?” I am sure your friends will say, “it was her/his fault! Don’t blame yourself!” Also, it’s not a blame game. It’s an understanding about yourself and how you have been showing up.
In Brian Traceys book, Goals!, he mentions that one of the most powerful ways that you can start to take ownership is by constantly repeating to yourself, “I am responsible!”
Having the ownership mindset or mentality can take you out of things you didn’t want to be in in the first place. It can create new opportunities for you.
Ownership is never blaming the other person. Ownership is simply taking responsibility for what has happened moving forward, and then create a way to prevent it from happening ever again.
When you take ownership of your life, valued friendships can come running back, your boss will like you more, your kids can respect you more as their parent, and many other related benefits you crave!
There are numerous benefits of taking ownership and those are just a few.
Who can you speak to today that can rekindle the relationship? Are there any friends that you just stopped talking to because of a silly fight? I am sure you can think of a few people that you were really close to and now are thinking, “What happened to our friendship?”
Give that person a call and take ownership of how things went and how you could have done something different and acknowledge them for being a great friend in the past.
Let me know how it goes! I would love to hear it in the comments!